When Japanese managers receive a wedding invitation from a Vietnamese employee or business partner, many wonder how much gift money to give and what to wear. Applying Japanese wedding norms as-is can lead to unintended rudeness. That said, if you grasp the key points in advance, a Vietnamese wedding can be an excellent chance to deepen cross-cultural exchange. Below we thoroughly cover the flow of a Vietnamese wedding, typical gift-money amounts and manners, appropriate attire, and how to conduct yourself on the day.

Vietnamese Weddings ①: How They Differ from Japan

Vietnamese weddings differ greatly from Japanese ones in both scale and meaning. Understanding the overall picture first is the first step toward reducing confusion on the day.

200 to 500 Guests Is Common

In Japan, wedding guest lists of about 50 to 100 people are typical. In Vietnam, by contrast, 200 to 500 attendees is not unusual. That is because a wedding is positioned not only as an event for the couple but as a celebration for both families’ relatives and the wider local community. As a result, workplace colleagues are often invited en masse, so there is little need to feel you alone were specially singled out.

An “Engagement Ceremony” Comes Before the Wedding

In Vietnam, a ceremony called “Lễ ăn hỏi” (lễ ăn hỏi; engagement ceremony) is held before the wedding. The groom’s family visits the bride’s home and presents betrothal gifts in this traditional rite. It resembles Japan’s yuinō, but in Vietnam this engagement ceremony is considered to signify the formal bond between the two families. You may be invited not only to the wedding day but also to this engagement ceremony, so knowing the difference is reassuring.

Ancestor Veneration Is at the Heart of the Wedding

What often surprises Japanese guests most is that ancestor veneration sits at the center of a Vietnamese wedding. On the morning of the wedding, the couple reports the marriage and offers prayers before the family altar (Bàn Thờ, bàn thờ) at home. It is a rite that reflects Vietnam’s cultural values, which place family bonds above all else, and the idea that a marriage is complete only when recognized by the ancestors remains widely carried on in modern Vietnam.

Vietnamese Weddings ②: Getting Gift Money Right—Never Use a White Envelope

Gift money is one of the most important points of wedding etiquette. Preparing it with Japanese assumptions, however, can lead to unexpected missteps. Confirm the essentials: envelope color, typical amounts, and auspicious numbers.

Envelope Color: Red or Pink Only

White gift envelopes are standard at Japanese weddings, but in Vietnam white is associated with funerals. Handing over gift money in a white envelope can therefore leave the recipient uncomfortable. At Vietnamese weddings, the proper practice is to use a festive envelope in red, pink, or a similar bright color. Red symbolizes luck and prosperity in Vietnam and is considered essential for celebrations. Local convenience stores and stationery shops sell them as “phong bì mừng cưới” (phong bì mừng cưới; wedding congratulatory envelopes). For more on color culture in Vietnam, see our articles “What Colors Do Vietnamese People Like? Explained by Gender” and “In Vietnam, 9 Is an Auspicious Number! Lucky Colors Introduced Too.”

Typical Amount: ¥3,000–¥6,000; Supervisors Should Give a Bit More for a Good Impression

Gift money at Vietnamese weddings is generally much lower than in Japan. For friends or colleagues, around 500,000 dong (roughly ¥3,000 to ¥5,000) is said to be typical. When giving from a supervisor or senior position, about ¥5,000 to ¥6,000 tends to leave a more considerate impression. Amounts vary by region and your relationship with the couple, so it is best to ask a Vietnamese colleague in advance.

Auspicious Numbers Are Said to Differ Between North and South

A particular point of care with Vietnamese gift money is regional differences in auspicious numbers. In the north (around Hanoi), odd numbers are considered lucky; in the south (around Ho Chi Minh City), even numbers are preferred, according to one view. How strictly these regional differences apply is debated, but checking in advance with the Vietnamese employee who invited you will keep you on safe ground.

Vietnamese Weddings ③: Getting Attire Right—A Formal Suit Stands Out

Japanese weddings call for formal dress, but Vietnamese weddings are different. Understanding climate and cultural differences and choosing appropriate clothing matters.

“Smart Casual” Is the Best Answer

Vietnamese weddings are often held outdoors or in large restaurant halls and feel quite different from Japanese hotel weddings. Showing up in Japanese-style formal wear—a dark suit with a white tie—can therefore make you stand out more than intended. For men, a collared shirt with slacks; for women, a bright dress or áo dài–inspired look—“smart casual” is the Vietnamese style to aim for.

All-White or All-Black Is Best Avoided

Color choice also needs care. As noted with gift envelopes, white is associated with funerals in Vietnam. An all-black outfit likewise evokes mourning and is better avoided. Incorporating bright, festive colors such as red, pink, or yellow makes attire suitable for a celebration. In addition, many parts of Vietnam are warm year-round, so breathable fabrics will help you stay comfortable.

Vietnamese Weddings ④: Conduct on the Day—Letting Go of Japanese Assumptions Makes It Easier

On the day, a Vietnamese wedding unfolds in an atmosphere quite different from a Japanese reception. Letting go of Japanese fixed ideas about “how one must behave” and attending in a relaxed way will help you enjoy it more.

Leaving After the Meal Is Fine

At Japanese receptions, remaining seated until the end is considered proper manners, but in Vietnam it is not rude to leave once the meal is largely finished. Guests often come and go in waves, so there is said to be no need to stay for a long time. After greeting the couple and their family and enjoying the meal, you may leave when the timing feels right.

Learning a Toast and Congratulatory Phrase Will Be Appreciated

Remembering two phrases usable at a Vietnamese wedding softens the atmosphere considerably. The toast call is “Một hai ba dô!” (một hai ba dô; meaning “1, 2, 3, cheers”), typically chanted together by the whole table. A widely used congratulatory phrase for the couple is “Chúc mừng hạnh phúc!” (chúc mừng hạnh phúc; meaning “congratulations on your happiness”). Even if your pronunciation is imperfect, the very effort to offer blessings in Vietnamese will mean a great deal to the other person. For more on Vietnamese toasting culture, see also “Don’t Fail at Drinking with Vietnamese Colleagues! A Full Guide from Toast Culture to Workplace Banquet Manners.”

Declining Alcohol Requires Care

At Vietnamese weddings, people often circulate among tables offering drinks. This is less a simple invitation to drink than an expression of warmth—“we want to celebrate together.” Silently refusing or responding coldly can therefore affect the relationship. If you prefer not to drink, thank them with “cảm ơn” (cảm ơn; “thank you”) and politely explain health or physical reasons. Even lightly touching the glass to your lips can show respect.

Summary

From gift-envelope color to attire and conduct on the day, Vietnamese weddings differ from Japanese norms on many points. Those differences, however, are rooted in the family bonds, respect for ancestors, and community ties that Vietnamese people have long valued.

Being invited to a Vietnamese employee’s wedding is evidence of a relationship of trust that goes beyond the workplace. Looking up manners in advance and showing respect for local customs will bring you closer still. Enjoying cultural differences while offering heartfelt congratulations will help build better workplace relationships.