Quick answer: How can you avoid offense at a Vietnamese meal?

In Vietnam, people often share dishes around the table and show respect to elders. Avoid sticking chopsticks upright in a bowl, and follow others when serving food or toasting. Customs vary by household and region, so asking when you are unsure is welcomed.

Dining manners differ greatly between Japan and Vietnam. What seems natural to Japanese people is not necessarily so for Vietnamese people. As a result, clashes over dining etiquette are not uncommon. If you plan to eat with Vietnamese people, it is important to understand these differences in thinking. Here, we explain Vietnamese dining manners that differ completely from those in Japan.

Vietnamese dining manner 1: Changing the seasoning is fine

In Vietnam, whether at a restaurant or at home, adjusting the seasoning of a dish to your taste is not considered bad manners.

Vietnamese dishes are seasoned lightly

In Vietnam, dishes served at eateries and restaurants are seasoned only lightly. Even pho, the noodle dish well known in Japan, is made with broth from chicken bones plus a little Ajinomoto, without elaborate seasoning. Stir-fried vegetables are similar—simply tossed with Ajinomoto and soy sauce. For people who prefer bold flavors, the taste can feel plain and underwhelming.

Customize the flavor with condiments

That does not mean Vietnamese people prefer mild flavors. The Vietnamese style is to rearrange dishes to your liking with various condiments. Staples include chili sauce, sweet soy sauce, and a spicy-sour vinegar pickled with garlic and chili. Ketchup, minced chili, pepper, and fish sauce are also always on hand. People enjoy their own way of eating—dipping food directly in condiments or mixing original sauces.

Changing the flavor is fine at the family table too

In Japan, changing the seasoning of a meal that has been served is considered bad manners. Stories of marital tension after someone added soy sauce to clear soup or mayonnaise to a stir-fry are common. In Vietnam, freely changing a dish’s flavor at the family table is no problem—and the same applies when you are a guest. Flavor adjustments are actually encouraged so everyone can enjoy the food more.

Vietnamese dining manner 2: State your taste preferences clearly

In Japan, the basic etiquette is to enjoy whatever dish is served, but that is not necessarily the case in Vietnam.

Clear likes and dislikes in Vietnam

In Vietnam, people do not wrap their true feelings in soft language the way Japanese people often do. The national character is to state opinions clearly—almost as a binary choice of “I like this” or “I don’t like this.” So if a dish suits their taste, they will happily say “It’s delicious!” If they dislike the flavor, they will not force themselves to eat it and may leave it untouched. As a result, likes and dislikes are easy to read from facial expressions alone.

Speaking plainly is polite in Vietnam

In Japan, saying a served dish tastes bad can disappoint or offend the other person. Many people have forced themselves to eat food they dislike for that reason. In Vietnam, hiding your true feelings is considered rude instead. Sharing your honest impressions is actually polite. It is appreciated because, next time, the host can prepare dishes that person prefers.

Teach Japanese manners in advance

That said, Vietnamese people’s direct way of speaking can certainly feel too blunt to Japanese people. Some may feel offended and think such wording is rude. If the other party is a business partner or customer, even without ill intent the issue can grow. So if something about a Vietnamese person’s behavior concerns you, it is better to explain Japanese dining manners beforehand.

Vietnamese dining manner 3: The person who invites pays

In Vietnam, the standard for treating someone to a meal differs from Japan. As a result, treating someone with good intentions can sometimes cause conflict.

Age and status do not decide who pays for the meal

In Japan, when people eat together, there is an unspoken rule that the older person, the higher-ranking person, or a man often pays for everyone. In Vietnam, however, age, status, and gender are not the basis for who pays. As a rule, the person who invited the others pays. It does not matter if the other person is a boss or has a high income.

Treating someone expresses gratitude

For Vietnamese people, treating someone to a meal is a “sign of gratitude.” If the other person is a boss or teacher, gratitude for their joining is even stronger. Vietnam’s culture of valuing hospitality toward guests also leads to treating others. “Thank you for coming”—that is the sincere feeling from the heart.

Forcing a treat can offend

When Japanese and Vietnamese people eat together, the Japanese side often has more money. So they tend to try to pay more. However, forcing payment when a Vietnamese person is holding back is not okay. It not only rejects their feeling of gratitude but may also hurt their pride, so consideration is needed.

Summary

Vietnamese people are used to dining manners different from those of Japanese people, so unexpected words or actions may surprise you. What feels rude to Japanese people is often considered polite in Vietnam. Therefore, even if something offends you, rather than correcting it immediately, it is important to gradually teach Japanese dining manners.

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